Back in October I posted about having fun with fake Microsoft support technicians making unsolicited calls to fix my poor broken computer.
Apparently they never learn. They called my house yesterday while I was at work, and then they called again today while I was home. So I decided to have some more fun with it! I live tweeted the experience for your reading pleasure:
5:01 PM: Goodie! Another “support call” from India! This is going to be fun.
5:10 PM: Windows Update popped up so I asked the support rep if he did that, he said yes! When I asked if I should do it now, he didn’t know.
5:11 PM: I’ve been transferred to Alan, a senior technician with Windows Computer. I bet he’ll know better what to do!
5:13 PM: Uh oh, these warning & error files in my event viewer are trying to enter my registry files & boot sector! I hope this India tech can help!
5:15 PM: My computer’s security has expired! The hardware mfg warranty & software mfg warranty both! Crap!
5:16 PM: Now I’m going to be transferred to their Cisco & Windows certified technician department to help me fix this. It’ll only cost $99.99.
5:22 PM: For some reason the India “support tech” wants me to type wwwdotsomethingdotblahdotcom but it doesn’t seem to be doing any good.
5:30 PM: The nice Indian “tech support” rep is now fixing my computer for me remotely! Using Logmein to connect me to my dedicated technician!
5:31 PM: I’ve used up over 35 minutes of the India scam artist time so far during this call. How long can I make it stretch?!?
5:38 PM: He opened a command prompt and typed “dir /s c:\” to scan my computer. I feel so safe with him working on my computer!
5:43 PM: I can pay $99.99 to fix my computer now, or $149.99 for 2 years, or $249.99 for 5 years, or $499.99 for life time for *all my computers*!
5:44 PM: Tech support scammer time wasted so far: over 48 minutes.
5:47 PM: If you ever need a fake credit card number to give a scammer, try http://www.getcreditcardnumbers.com/ which will generate “valid” but not active cards.
5:57 PM: Hmmm, Phone call disconnected after 60 minutes, but he’s calling back now! WHEW!
6:06 PM: He’s trying to open “NOTEPAAD” with two As. Awesome.
6:07 PM: For some reason my fake credit card number isn’t being authorized, so I need to call my issuer and get it unblocked for online transactions.
6:11 PM: Dang, my fake card issuer has me on hold, but my call is very important to them, so I’m waiting for the next representative to assist me.
6:15 PM: I wonder what my fake card issuer will say: Either it’s been blocked due to fraud *or* I’m at my credit limit & can’t charge more. BOTH!
6:16 PM: Fake support rep call time wasted so far: 74 minutes.
6:22 PM: I just told him “While I’m on hold, I’m going to go away from the computer but I’ll be back as soon as they answer. Estimated time 13 min.”
6:32 PM: “Are you done yet?” “No, still on hold.” “Okay, take your time.” Oh, I *will* take my time, thank you very much. #evillaughtergoeshere
6:53 PM: Tonight’s episode of “Messing with Scammers”, where I waste time for 4 different fake Microsoft Support reps from India, lasted 107 minutes.
7:20 PM: Correction, my call lasted 111 minutes, not 107. Those extra four minutes are precious! PRECIOUS!
After I finally “talked” to my fake card issuer support rep, and told the guy that we had the following problems:
- My card is over the limit and so they can’t authorize the charge.
- Even if my card balance was $0, I only have a $250 credit limit so this wouldn’t work anyway.
- There are a lot of fraudulent charges coming into the issuer’s network from India tonight so they won’t turn on the online purchasing feature of any card tonight.
- The credit card number and name and address and phone number I gave you are fake.
- Since the card number was fake, there wasn’t an issuer to call, I just wanted to waste your time.
- You should really read http://www.casaderobison.com/2013/10/05/messing-with-scammers/ and add my phone to your do not call list so I don’t keep wasting all your time.
Sadly, he hung up on me after point five, so I never got to share point six with him.
Just remember kids: If you can waste a scammer’s time, please do so! The more time they spend with you the less time they spend with someone really vulnerable. And if you aren’t comfortable doing something like this (see my previous post linked to above for more details), just hang up on them.
Remember, no one will ever call you to offer you unsolicited technical support services! No one!